Will You love me 'till the end of time?
May. 10th, 2006
09:44 pm - oh crappy day....
Ok so today started off semi normal. I woke up, took a shower, (i've been sick lately) had some soup, drove to school. Was a few minutes late, enjoyed my ethics class, then gabe took me out to Jack and the box because he wanted to get me ice cream two days in a row, and forgot to so decided to get me some lunch. He said "the skies the limit!" Which is amazing considering its gabe. It was quite sad though because at the time I wasn't hungry. So he still insisted on getting me something, in which i was grateful later on because I grew hungry. I then went to ceramics and got a B- on a project which was very nice of her because i've been gone a lot lately due to being sick. (your thinking, doesn't sound too bad whatcha complaining about?)
Then I went to work. I still work at best buy for those of you who don't know, and every day I work my butt off. Like seriously every night when i go home I look and its GONE! lol. but seriously I try my best to be a great costumer service reprisentative. And may 5th was my year aniversary of working there. Which means I get a year review. So Today my supervisor Sat down with me to give me my year review. They grade your performance on a scale of 1-5. 1 is you suck and should be fired. 2 is somewhat lacking but ok... 3 is working hard, 4 is working pretty darn hard and 5 is godly. So i guess my costumer service skills are a 4 but being able to take direction are a 2. Which really surprised me. My supervisor told me that i have problems with lip in my department. So then i told him, well you know I like to joke with you right? and he said "oh.. well I do now!" (with an unusually loud laugh) So then i asked scott if i had lip problems and he said "yeah sometimes"
and I just wanted to cry. I don't think that I have any lip problems. if someone asks me to do it I DO IT. I guess maybe I get frustrated with people when they don't do anything. anyways i don't have much time to tell you everything but basically my work told me that i suck at taking directions which made me feel kinda bummed.
thanks for listening gang!
Apr. 26th, 2006
So i'm sitting here in the computer lab. I can hear the buzz of the computers and the fast typing of the lady sitting next to me. Celena and gabe are at a computer talking about how to draw a thing that I really can't remember its name. its kinda amuzing. Its been awhile since i've updated this so I may have a lot to say. Jolley has been a life saver. I and that most certainly is no understatement. He is so awesome. HE ROCKS! I've been so glad to be able to hang out and spend time with him and i'm glad that he cares enought to take me under his wing for now. Celena is awesome as well. She is so sweet and I really do admire alot of her qualities. She is such a tender soul! I've also been appreciating scott jacobs! he's awesome! I love to work with him, and although he can be a little crass at times, he's very funny, witty and just all around enjoyable to hang out with. Another person of whom i appreciate is paul! Waaalooouuu He is crazy at times, but he has a soft, kind and gentle heart just like anyone else. He won't let you see it though, because he's to afraid of letting people in. I've really gotten to know him lately and i'm so glad that he's been openeing up to me. And last but certainly not least, I appreciate Gabe. He is so enduring sometimes, and so patient. I love him so much and i'm very proud of the accomplishments that he has made as of late. Our 1 year dating anniversary is coming up soon, and i'm so excited. We're not quite sure when we first started dating officially, but we'll figure an aniversary out!
I'd really like to see christine some time in the near future. I never see the hansons anymore which makes me sad. I miss elaine, kristy and denise alot! And don't think i forgot about emily! I also miss the old days with kerry, brad, hugo, kevin, rachel, peter and etc. Days when we had scripture studies, and just loved to be together. We're all segregated now, with our boyfriends, or best friends that we don't have room for each other anymore. But i'd like to see that change. Summer's acomin' and thats when we all seem to get together again! Miss you all and love you all! Oh i love antonio too! WOOT!
Hope you all love me too!
Apr. 4th, 2006
So classes have started up again! ARGGG it was good to see stine today though! YAY I also saw kristy today at work. YAY!!
I miss ppl.
I feel very poetic and lonely
I miss you all
And love you all
hope you think of me fondly!
--all my love
Mar. 27th, 2006
|Your Pick Up Line Is|
I may not be Wilma, but I can sure make your bedrock.
haha hahahahahaha that is sooo funny bad but funny
Mar. 8th, 2006
The morning cries as I yearn for you,
Calling to the wind in warm soft tones,
I begin to yearn for your once tender embrace.
As you slowly forget the ghost of the past
the love of your life
who died at your side
The one who you let fade away into the night,
The bitter pain of reality
Took the life from my bones
Yet still, I can’t forget those nights,
the times you held me close
and kissed me gently on the nose
with such sweet and tender care
I miss the days
when I felt you by my side
In the paradise we created
My heart aches
with the memories
and the bitter sweet reality of knowing
that we lost a piece of the joy
I cannot reach you,
I cannot touch you
in this mist of darkness
life has left my veins
but my love has not
Can’t we return to those days my love?
Come escape with me into yesterday’s embrace
When the summer’s breeze gave warmth
And we first met
Under the pale moonlight
with twinkling stars lighting the way
into the dream we shared
As we floated away and let our souls merge
I still feel you tug in the depths of my heart
And as I slowly begin to fade away into nothingness
I call out for your tender sanctuary
save me with that rejuvenating embrace
Don’t let me fade away
Into the depths of despair
Protect me from time’s captivity
and wrap your arms around me
shielding me with your love
Let it be my salvation from the darkness
Let it heal me in this darkened world
And in your heart I will live always,
Inside the memory
Safe from the torments of being forgotten
Safe from the reality of my loss
Take me back my prince
To the days of rescue and chivalry
Your maiden of your dreams
Remember the days
Of flowers and kisses
Dancing under the stars
And words of love
And as I awake
To the warm tears that begin to warm my cheek
I can feel you once again
That tender embrace
Wiping away my tears
It shall no longer be the phantom
That haunts our every dream
You will begin to come alive
And I shall feel the blood once again in my veins
You will have awoken me from this deadly slumber
And with a sly smile
We'll fade away into the memory
For I can live forever
Inside your heart
But only if you do not forget me
my darling love
My knight of life
I wrote this poem the other night,
After watching inuyasha! lol sounds a lot like kikyo,
I wrote it while listening to the ending credits of the song over and over again.
The pullmans have the 5th season so I watched it!
*eyes Christine who has seasons 1-3! lol
Hopefully i'll see you around soon stine? I'll call jolley to see when's a good time to contact you.
--Peace out chums!
ps I miss OREGON!
Feb. 27th, 2006
So there was this really cool mexican guy who came into work the other day. he came up to me and asked if it was ok if he opened up a fanny pack cd player holder thingy to see if it fit. I said that it wouldn't be a problem so he tried it on, and asked what cd player he should get. I gave him my suggestion and he asked me about my heritage, and i told him, and he asked if I spoke spanish and I said no, and he said you should learn. it was interesting because he really wanted to know about my life, and etc. which was really cool. I then rang him up and he told me about how he was in the gym working out and some random ppl tried to make fun of him saying "what you listening to Ricky martin?" and he said "NO!" and they laughed and went away and then he told me "I really WAS listening to ricky martin!" It was awesome
anyways I saw him again today and he remembered me! It made me happy!
Love those mexican customers.
Oh hey stine, I think you have my inuyasha dvd's are you finished with them, cuz i'd miss watching it! post a comment, or i'll try calling
Jan. 22nd, 2006
05:23 pm - Emotions, and vague venting
My new policy has mostly been being upfront and honest, and I feel like its kinda backfired somewhat. I was offended at a comment that someone said. Well not necessarily offended, but REALLY didn't know how to take it. I put myself out on the line, opened up, and I think that they kinda took it the wrong way, or I took it the wrong way. I guess to be honest, i'm tired. I'm tired of people. Right now I want to become a hermit, in a shack, bring my laptop there, barricade myself in and play world of warcraft, watch an old black and white movie, listen to some music, read a book, take a bath, or just curl up in bed. I think there is like only 2 people who are allowed into my hermit shack and they'd be my two best friends. My sis and gabe. Well.. now that I think about it, i'd welcome anyone into the shack as long as they were filled with love for me. I guess the reason gabe and celen are automatically admitted is because I know without a shadow of a doubt that they love me. I guess I feel like somepeople are not as loving as they could be. I miss the days when we all loved one another. There was no hate, or animosity between one another. There was no judging. No excluding people because they weren't up to snuff. I guess for me, I wanna just love people. For example sean. So many people are so willing to cast sean aside and call him a lost cause. But would Jesus do that? Would he just set him aside and say "i'm sorry your done for"
NO! Jesus would simply wrap his arms around him and love him. and I feel like I need to do the same.
I dunno, i've been kinda out of it lately. but I feel better today. I gave a lesson in relief society about the importance of reading the book of mormon. It was a good lesson. I'm also happy because I Love gabe. He's not perfect, but he has irriversibly etched himself into my heart. We made a goal to read the book of mormon together every night. which is exciting. Its really fun to read with him, and talk to him over the phone about it. He's also been very romantic lately. Like we were walking the other day, near fredmeyer, and he made me walk near the building so I wouldn't get wet. Just little things like that. He's been very sweet in telling me he loves me and leaving me letters on world of warcraft. I guess lately I questioned if I loved him, and I know that I do, and I think that I need to stop questioning. I love him, and he's great, and as long as he is, i'll be happy.
I feel like I complain about him alot sometimes, and I don't credit him as much as I should. I guess I feel like I have to express that. I LOVE GABE. I love him, and sometimes I complain just to vent, but I still love him anyways. He's just great!
I love gabe
la de daaaa daaa
traa laaa laaaaa
doooo deeee dooo doooo
Jan. 16th, 2006
|Your Pick Up Line Is|
Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
Jan. 5th, 2006
04:59 pm - Where do I begin!
Oh my goodness, yesterday was, happy, sad, angry, jealous, proud, pleased, malicious, betrayed, and well... very emotional.
It started with a bright and beautiful morning, where I went to meet gabe at blockbuster to carpool to school. It had been 5 days since I had seen him, and It was really nice to see him again. I really missed him, and Some insecurities of mine had been creeping up, but they just dissapeared when I saw him. Basically my heart lept when I saw him. So yeah it was grand.
I then proceeded to go to my classes, Astronomy which turn out to be a really sad class. Long, cold, boring, lecture.... needless to say sad. Then Proceeded to walk toward my next class where i saw an old co-worker abbie, and talked for a bit, which made me happy. Was late to my second class which is music, (easy A) So yeah, I really enjoy that class. She is a young teacher, and sometimes I think i'd do a better job at teaching, but I bet its a lot harder than it looks! lol.
After class I sat in my car, and worked on some of the pictures I scanned onto my computer. Just cropped them so that they would look better, and created photo albums. It was spiffy. So yeah, it was pretty cool.
Then I was ready to pick up gabe, and we drove back to blockbuster. I parked, and waited for him to get out, and he said "I'm putting off leaving you, because I miss you" It was sweet because I totally missed him too.
Anyways we decided to hang out, and to call jolley. I hoped he'd be there, and I'd been wanting to hang out with jolley for a long time, but he kept forgetting me, or blowing me off. It was sad, but since I had gabe with me I guess I was worth hanging out with. lol. Sad... We went over there, and gabe and jolley got into some technical stuff and I felt left out, and got a little upset, but then decided to make lunch. I made grilled Tuna w/cheese sandwhiches and chicken pot pie soup. They worshipped me for it, well just thanked me a lot.
They then persuaded me to help them hold a light for them to fix the amp. I did, with some coaxing, and gabe wanted me to feel the warm soda can that had the hot burny thing in it. (can't remember the name)lol but I didn't want to so he threw it at me, it was warm to the touch, but there was a little bit of soda in it, and is spilled right into my crotchal region, and was VERY uncomfortable. As you can imagine, tina gave gabe a massive anime yell, and smack down! lol. Those are the best kind. Where their heads get all big, and read, and crazy looking. lol.
WE then watched into the west, and jolley kept making inappropriate jokes, and eventually the phone rang, jolley suspiciously gave the phone to gabe, and at first I thought it was his parents mad at him, and then his voice held a conversation as if talking to a friend. He also suspiciously didn't reveal the name, and by then I knew it was heather. I mean I'm not stupid guys! I HAVE A BRAIN! Anyways, he kept trying to play it off as if he wasn't talking to her, and I could hear what she said, and eventually she asked "do you guys wanna hang out?" and he said "well... let me conference." Of course they both failed to mention that I was present, which also made me mad, and then Gabe said to jolley, "the devil wants us to go bowling" And It really upset me that they were all talking in code and leaving her and me out of the conversation. I then said "I'm not stupid you know" and one of them told her that I was there, jolley asked if I was invited. She said yes, and I said "of course she said i'm invited but she really doesn't want me there, I'm not stupid, and the boys convinced me to go, so I grabbed the phone and told heather how the boys had unsuccesfully tried to make it so both of us didn't know that the other was present. And explained to her, that their sad and pathetic attempt failed! She then understood, and we hung up the phone. I then explained to both boys how upset I was and then wanted to go on a walk to calm down, I knew that I needed some time to figure things out, and just calm down, because I was mad, and felt betrayed. Gabe wouldn't let me go, and I had to fight him with all of my might to get out of the door. He refused to let me go, and said "hey you wanna dance?" and he forced me to dance with him, and then I finally made it outside, cleared some thoughts, and felt I had better express my feelings. I came back and told them that I didn't like the idea of being decieved. I didn't like them leaving things out, not technically lying, but not being 100% honest either. Jolley said "with all do respect your over reacting" which made me even more angry, and I asked for my purse, they wouldn't tell me, and then I started to walk out, and gabe said wait, and got up to follow me and I said "I"m SORRY I'M OVERREACTING!" And slammed the door in his face. I suddenly realized that, that specific comment was not intended for gabe, but more towards jolley, and I came back in and appologized to gabe, and told him that it was meant for him(pointing at jolley) Gabe then just held me, and I said "jolley, you've blown me off 2 days in a row, and now you tell me that i'm over reacting for telling you my feelings. I can handle a few little bad things, but when they all pile up, then i'm gonna get mad. He nodded and understood, and I then talked to gabe, and he explained his point of view, that he was caught off gaurd, and handled it in the best way he thought possible. We then started to feel better because we talked about everything that we hadn't said about the situation, which was good, we then went outside and slow danced under the stars to michael buble which mede me happy, and then we went to meet heather. We then bowled, and I won both games! It made me happy because if I had lost I would have wanted to cry. And to be honest, if I lost horribly to her, It would have made it worse.
After two games of bowling we went to cattins, and randomly saw mike and buddy! Which was nice. I miss mikey! Anyways, we hung out there for what seemed like forever. I was really ready to leave, but gabe and jolley seemed like they wanted to stay, so I endured. Gabe was sweet and tried to entertain me by feeding me but I didn't want anything, and I didn't have the money to buy food. I mean i did but I need to save badly. This week I have literally no hours, so I think i'm going to look for another job! Anyone know of anyone that is hiring? I could use the dough! lol. Anyways, after cattins i drove gabe to blockbuster, and we talked for a bit, and it was nice. I think he was really happy that I made the effort for him. And we talked about how we thought cattins was too much and that we felt done after bowling. It was great to talk to him and I felt good.
I LOVE HIM and I had fun. He made sure to treat me like a girlfriend. He held my hand, and payed attention to me, stayed by my side 90% of the night. Which made me happy. And he wasn't over the top either as if to make her jealous or uncomfortable. It was good.
So yeah i love gabe, and i'll update more later.
Oh if you have any pics I would like them ASAP I want to make a slide show and have a group get together and show all the pictures! Don't worry I already have a scanner!
Oh I also want to make a shout out to christine! I LOVE YOU! and CALL ME! I enjoy your company and i'd love to have the honor of your company in your next available oppertunity! anyways!
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